Legion are the grogs of Tikidom. Thus, many are fortified the hearts and livers of denizens in the New World. Ally or foe, remedy and vice, highrise hotshot or beachbombing muse. Throughout history alcohol has been an accomplice in sharpening blades and dulling visage. The very fact we call the distilled vapors spirits indicates the inherent divinity we apply to it. And from hearty meads and ales to decadent wine and brandies none other of these spirits has so indelibly ingratiated itself in our mythos than rum.
Whether it’s swashbuckling pirates cavorting about the Caribbean or sloshed-stumbling cruisers sporting piña coladas and Ray-Ban tans, rum has captivated our imaginations and led us to a whole new state of mind. Through folktales or passport stamps rum has been the muse of escapism for centuries. But the undeniable thread that binds fact to fiction is the sea. And it was on the sea where some claim the very first cocktail was ever mixed. Grog.
For better or worse rum has long been tied to the trope of the drunken sailor. Like the gallows conversion of captured pirate John Archer. “By strong drink I have been heated and hardened into the crimes that are now more bitter than death unto me.” He said this as a claim to his Savior moments before swinging from the noose.
Blackbeard himself was said to be known for holding his rum in true piratical fashion, often mixing in gunpowder and igniting it before swilling it down. Such a commodity was rum among the threadbare and bedraggled lot of pirates that after running out once Blackbeard wrote in his journal, “Such a day, rum all out! Our company somewhat sober! A damned confusion among us.” During his final stand on Ocracoke Island it purportedly took an ambush, a gunshot, and two slashes to the neck to finally bring the pirate captain down. No doubt due to the high aspirations of rum.
Even in these, our modern days the blight of demon rum has exposed the ill begotten whimsy of man. According to a bartender at the Capital Hilton Trader Vic’s they would remain open after hours so President Richard Nixon could stop in for a few Grogs and lament the pressures of office. The link between American politics and rum is not all petticoats and tea parties, I suppose. Tragically, Phil Spector stopped off in a Beverly Hills Trader Vic’s for “at least two” Grogs before later murdering actress Lana Clarkson..
But I'm not here to give rum a bad name. No, booze may be a vehicle, but those men decided to take the ride. I only wish to highlight how the story of rum is one of redemption. Forgoing its checkered past it’s been alongside us throughout history, solidifying itself amid legend and lore. Rum has provoked revolution and jumpstarted our founding fathers' nascent economy. It lay in repose through prohibition, till finding its rightful place in the forefront of our culture's greatest virtue - escapism.
In this way rum should be lauded and lionized, as are the men and women who also capitalized the high seas. Thus brings us to the topic of today’s episode. A rum drink made famous by the British Navy and infamous by Donn the Beachcomber.
Ladies and gentlemen my name is Tony. Welcome to Pod Tiki where today we discuss The Navy Grog.
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We covered the history of grog in our Painkiller episode, but it seems apropos to do a bit more here. First of all, why rum? How did it become synonymous with the navy? Well, Her Majesty’s Navy handing out rations of fine Madeira wine and French brandy was commonplace. But those became rare as England was inevitably at war with one or both of those countries at any given time. The beer of that time would spoil on the long voyage from Europe to the West Indies, so that wasn't a viable option. At the same time the British Navy was experiencing a dreadful lack of cheer, down island way planters found themselves in a surplus of rum but with dollar signs in their eyes. Demand, meet supply. Whoa, get a room, you two!
Planters, merchants, and sailors found themselves in a bit of an economic circle jerk, but they still had to convince parliament. A paper was actually drafted and disseminated extolling the virtues of Caribbean rum to the pinky out crowd back in London. Hands were shook, babies were kissed, backs were scratched, and quids were pro-quo’d till the Navy provisions office finally declared rum the official spirit of the Royal Navy. Because they just don’t say things in the Royal Navy, they declare them. “Oy, mate. Time to splice the mainbrace, innit!”
But one rum only leads to another, as they say. Okay, maybe only I say that. But it held true for the British Navy. To use one of Ben Franklin’s euphemisms for drinking, those boys had been to Barbados. It took the foresight and unintentional profundity of one particular officer to not only pacify his men, but inadvertently created a genre of drink. Therefore cementing rum in maritime cocktail history.
Shortly after Lawrence Washington inherited Little Hunting Creek Plantation in 1740 he renamed it after his friend and decorated naval officer Admiral Edward Vernon. Following Lawrence’s death Mount Vernon was passed to his little half-brother, George.
It was Admiral Vernon who noticed the effect rum was having on his crews. A, “stupefying of their rational qualities”, he once wrote. But it wasn’t totally the sailor’s fault. You see, in Vernon's day the tool used to measure alcohol content in spirits, the Sikes Hydrometer, had not yet been invented. The standard practice was to mix a bit of rum with a bit of gunpowder and light the mixture. From this practice we get two common modern terms. If the saturated gunpowder ignited, that was “proof” of the alcohol content. Legend has it English sailors would use a magnifying glass and the sun to replicate this technique on board ships in order to verify their rum was navy strength. Imagine how many eyebrows were singed off by Jamaican rum, Blackbeard would’ve been proud.
In truth it was almost always overproof by modern standards. Which is precisely why Vernon came up with the idea to dilute his men’s rum rations with water. The ship’s purser would dispense rations twice a day with the first round being at noon. I guess I shouldn’t tease my wife about bottomless mimosas on Sunday mornings. But someone should really tell those mimosas to put some pants on. I digress, Even watered down the rum ration received was the equivalent of 5 modern cocktails worth of rum per person per day. Eventually the crew realized a little sugar and citrus could spruce up the watered down, but still highly potent, rum. And using the highly eponymous Admiral Vernon once again, the crews began referring to this mixture by Vernon’s nickname, Ol’ Grog.
The tradition of officially distributing high alcohol booze to the people who were considered the world’s strongest Navy for centuries continued till Black Tot Day in 1970, when the final rum rations were drunk and the remaining barrels were ceremoniously thrown overboard. The sun finally set on the English Empire that day, while they nursed a century old hangover. Except for the sealife around Great Britain who apparently got hammered on all that discarded rum. Darling, it’s bettah down where it’s wettah, indeed!
It sounds like this is a nice place to button up the story of grog and it’s legacy with the sea, but while limey sailors were enjoying grog rations another man was embarking on wayward adventures. A man who from the ephemeral detritus of his own exotica would beget a worldwide phenomenon. A man named Ernest Gantt, or Don the Beachcomber.
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Donn Beach, as he would change his name to, embodied everything I truly love about Tiki. For he possessed the irrevocable talent of taking in the world around him, processing it through his own creative filters and not regurgitating, but reassembling it into the world he envisioned. In this way I envy his creative acuity and place him alongside such celebrated world builders as Walt Disney or George Lucas. In fact, judging by how much Tiki is incorporated into Disney parks and hotels I imagine Walt a big fan of Donn’s work.
A common misconception, and one that I myself am guilty of, is that the Navy Grog appearing on Don the Beachcomber menus as early as 1941 is a tikified version of Vernon’s British Navy grog. When, in fact, an early caption reveals Donn’s grog as, “Dedicated to the gallant men of the American Navy.” As a Lieutenant Colonel in the U.S. Air Force Donn was himself a World War II veteran. I am sure he harbored a great respect for his Royal counterparts, but as we independant colonies are wont to do, Donn’s Navy Grog was British in inspiration only. It’s a good thing because the English recipe of watered down rum, lime juice and brown sugar is about as bland as their cuisine. Although, beans for breakfast are pretty good. But you know how we do it in the New World, take something from another country and bedazzle it shiny. And before you start castigating me for cultural appropriation, think of how much you like pizza, sushi, and Cinco de Mayo.
Donn claims to have put Navy Grog on the menu as a high octane manly alternative tiki drink. For those with bravado wishing to eschew the orchids and fruit for a very phallic ice cone protruding with lazy sensuality from the potent potion. Seriously, if this ice cone was a guy he'd be leaning with one elbow on the bar wagging his eyebrows at you. Let me explain, rather than putting the drink on ice or using a large cube the ice cone doubled as a functional garnish. Made by pressing snow ice into a Champagne flute forming a cone shape, the ice cone would be placed with the wide end in the drink so the, ahem, tip was breaking the surface like the top of an iceberg. Because nothing says manly like a big white shaft sticking out of my glass. In all seriousness Donn’s grog was crafted to be a booze heavy no frills libation for those who thought tiki was a little too foo-foo. Which is ironic considering his first famous tiki drink was the indomitable Zombie.
Wait a minute. Do you guys feel that? Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yep, I thought so. This feels like the right spot. Let’s make a drink!
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For all of you who are thinking, “finally he’s done with his sanctimonious blabbering so we can get to the drink”, well, I have bad news for you. Because there’s a lot to get to when it comes to the Navy Grog recipe. Starting with the idea that grog has almost become more a style of cocktail than a specific recipe, and every self-respecting purveyor of paradismal potions has their own version. Including myself.
The impetus of this episode was a recent trip to a Tiki bar called Suffering Bastard in Sanford, Fl. It was the final day of my Christmas visit with my folks. We shared a delicious dinner at one of my favorite spots, wherein I got reprimanded by a well-meaning but kinda scary stout German woman for ordering two things that apparently didn't go well together. Afterwards, my folks and I walked down to Tuffy’s. In one dimly lit corner of this vast taproom is an ominously glowing corridor leading to a small room adorned with all the classic tiki ephemera one would expect. Tapa cloth, shrunken heads, bamboo, ship nets, and to top it all off a giant Suffering Bastard tiki mug behind the bar.
Everything about this place emanates true tiki culture. And the drinks? Besides the laudable rum selection, best Mai Tai I may have ever had. But it wasn’t that classic that caught my attention. I wanted to try something truly tiki. I had a feeling about that bar and I had a feeling I could trust them to do Tiki right. I wanted to order a drink I had previously never had, something difficult to find at the more superficial tiki bars. Then I saw it pictured on the menu, with all it’s prodigious ice cone glory, I knew it was time to dive into Navy Grog. And what a time it was.
The amalgamation of flavors blew me away. Not too sweet, fruity but complex. What left me truly awed though, was the way those three different spirits blended seamlessly to create a perfect rhum rhapsody. A true testament to Don the Beachcomber’s surgical-like prowess in rumgenuity. I was hooked and I wanted to know how to do it.
I guess the best place to start is with the basics. Navy Grog is lime juice, grapefruit juice, honey, club soda, and rums from Puerto Rico, Jamaica, and Guyana, respectively.
I sampled many a grog for my extensive research on this episode including Donn Beach and Trader Vic’s originals, as well as recipes from Jeff “Beachbum” Berry, Martin Cate, and Shannon Mustipher. This is where it gets a bit confusing.
Don the Beachcomber did invent the Navy Grog around 1940. By the mid 40’s we see it popping up on Trader Vic’s menus. Now, Vic was no garden variety copycat and his recipe resembled Donn’s in name only. In fact, using the name of existing drinks with totally different recipes was kinda his thing. Vic was a master mixologist in his own right, so most of the time it worked out and we got great new drinks. Other times we get Trader Vic’s version of the Suffering Bastard. If there’s two things I know it’s we don’t talk about Bruno, and we don’t talk about Trader Vic’s Suffering Bastard. Notwithstanding, Vic’s recipe was different enough to effectively split Navy Grog into two camps.
Decades later Tiki cocktail historian Jeff “Beachbum” Berry came along to rediscover and decipher these lost recipes. Having most of Don the Beachcomber’s recipe figured out there was one remaining piece alluding Berry. Till he noticed the bartender who made his favorite grog heating and adding to the mix a small amount of honey. Heating it rendered the honey a little more user friendly but still left a sticky mess. Upon further research it was discovered that Donn Beach actually solved this issue way back in 1950. In a U.S. Navy charity cookbook Donn gave his recipe of boiling one part honey to one part water, essentially creating a honey syrup that’s easy to use anytime.
Trader Vic’s Navy Grog proved to be a bit more tricky. You see, even though Vic published a number of cocktail books, he was a shrewd businessman and his recipes often called for a Trader Vic’s brand pre-made mix. Great for his bottom line, not so great for learning how to make the drink from scratch. Luckily for us Beachbum Berry is like the Batman of Tiki. After the rigorous research of having to drink countless Navy Grogs, Berry was able to eventually reverse engineer Vic’s recipe, but it wasn’t the finished version that stuck out. In an early attempt at Vic’s grog Berry actually created one of my all time favorite drinks and one we’ve already discussed in the 5 Fall Jamaicans episode - The Ancient Mariner.
Martin Cate of Smuggler’s Cove actually uses the Trader Vic’s model:
¾ oz Lime Juice
¾ oz Grapefruit Juice
¼ oz Demerara Syrup
¼ oz Allspice Dram
1 oz Pot Still Aged (Smith & Cross)
1 oz Blended Lightly Aged (Real McCoy 5)
1 oz Column Still Aged (Flor de Cana 7)
Now if Juxtapose that next to Beachbum Berry’s Ancient Mariner:
¾ oz Lime Juice
½ oz Grapefruit Juice
½ oz Simple Syrup
¼ oz Allspice Dram
1 oz Demerara Rum (Pusser’s)
1 oz Dark Jamaican Rum (Myers’s)
… and there you can see how close Berry was to figuring out Vic’s grog. It’s fascinating to me how through Beachbum Berry’s books we get to go on a journey of discovery alongside him as we watch the recipes evolve as he uncovers new pieces to hidden tiki treasures. It’s cool to see the DNA of these truly unique cocktails unfold, and let’s not forget that collectables are cool, but it’s the drinks that make tiki, tiki, after all.
Honestly, the Smuggler’s Cove recipe leaves something to be desired. I miss the honey, and even though the spirits blend nicely it tastes too similar to existing drinks. When looking for this flavor profile in a drink Berry’s Ancient Mariner is far superior.
On the other side of this drink’s convoluted history we are still left with a genre spliced in twain from nape to chops. Hell, we have four of the pillars of Tiki making an appearance. Don the Beachcomber, Trader Vic, Beachbum Berry, and Martin Cate. Throw in Harry Yee and you virtually have the whole tiki totem. A venerable Mount Lushmore if you will. Even if you won’t, come to drink of it.
(Get back to the grog). Okay, here’s where I stand. Normally I would honor both recipes, but because Trader Vic’s Navy Grog is so different it’s basically its own drink, and the Ancient Mariner, which is a version of Vic’s Navy Grog, is already superior to said grog, I have to conclude that the Ancient Mariner stands alone as the superior drink and kicks Trader Vic’s Navy Grog out of the discussion leaving Donn the Beachcomber’s original recipe as the one true Navy Grog. (They will neva take our freedom!)
And now, for an unprecedented second time this episode, let us finally, make … a … drink.
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It’s actually amazing how good this drink is relative to how simple it is. The first things we’re gonna need are easy. Lime juice and grapefruit juice, like always, are essential to squeeze fresh. Long time listeners know how much I rail against plastic bottled juices. For things like lime and grapefruit the difference in fresh juice is noticeable by even the novice palate. Take it from someone who’s had to eat crow about homemade ingredients. After making my first homemade batch of grenadine I will never EVER buy a bottle of red number 9 dyed snake oil again. If you’ve ever wondered why your home cocktails don’t taste like the bar, it’s the ingredients. Even if you’re not into home bartending and you just want to make a few drinks, still better to hand squeeze than buying processed.
Then we’ll need some club soda. I imagine since this drink uses the ice cone, rather than crushed ice, Donn probably added the soda water to elongate the drink and open up the flavors. I tried using sparkling water, but found no difference so I stuck with club soda.
Next would be the aforementioned honey syrup. Again this is simply equal parts honey and water boiled together. You just want to bring the mixture to a boil then turn the burner off. We’re not trying to cook it, just blend it. Clover honey is recommended. I’ll sometimes use wildflower but it doesn’t always render that rich honey taste. Either way, make sure to always use raw unfiltered honey.
Now here we are. The best part. Rum. The Navy Grog utilizes three rums from three distinct regions. First, Demerara Rum. Demerara rum is a product of Guyana made using sugar culled from the Demerara River region. Lemon Hart & Sons is a popular and very delicious brand, but it is very full bodied. For this recipe I chose El Dorado 5yr. It’s a bit lighter but still boasts great flavor in a cocktail or as a sipper. Pusser’s, even though it’s a product of Guyana, is kinda different from a standard Demerara rum due to it being a specific recipe tuned to the old British Navy recipe. And remember this is a U.S. Navy grog. The caveat to that would be when making the Ancient Mariner. I find Pusser’s is better in that drink, and since it’s not officially a Navy Grog, I’ll allow it.
For the dark Jamaican rum I used Myers's Original Dark. Jamaican rum is known and renowned for its signature “funky” flavor achieved by the extra molasses added after distillation. Appleton Estate 12yr is a great option if you’re trying to impress your fancy friends, but it’s dark due to it’s aging. Which makes it great for sipping, but a true dark Jamaican rum is blended to almost a blackish hue and boasts a rich, heavy burnt molasses funk. Use Myers’s or Coruba.
Finally we get to the swing ingredient. The light Puerto Rico rum can make or break this cocktail, and not for the reason you might think. Bacardi is a fine spirit, as is Don Q. High dollar Puerto Rican white rums are good, but can get pretty pricey. I found when using Bacardi it stuck out and for a light rum that column still flavor was very prevalent. Kinda like how a blanco tequila seems to have more forward agave notes than a reposado or anejo. The thing is, when Don the Beachcomber was creating this drink the “light” Puerto Rican rum would have been much different. It would be foolish not to admit that over time mass production has changed the flavor of Facundo Bacardi’s famous recipe. The light rums back then would have had more of an aged flavor. To compensate for this I used Bacardi 8yr. I am really impressed with the flavor and versatility of this rum. Great to sip on a hot day or use as a mixer, and at $30 per bottle it’s a very affordable alternative to spending $50 on a bottle of Ron del Barillito.
Now, I’ve told you I prefer regionally categorizing rum over production method, but Puerto Rican rum is made using column stills. This has a distinct flavor, more of a sweet rummy Spanish style. Think Havana Club Cuban rum. And the closest thing I’ve found to Cuban rum stateside is Flor de Cana 7yr. I stayed true to Bacardi to honor Donn’s recipe, but Flor de Cana is a viable alternative for around $25.
Now, without further ado, Navy Grog is:
¾ oz Lime Juice
¾ oz Grapefruit Juice
¾ oz Club Soda
1 oz Honey Syrup
1oz Light Puerto Rican Rum
1oz Dark Jamaican Rum
1oz Demerara Rum
Shake with ice and strain into a double rocks glass. Garnish with an ice cone and … don’t forget to drink with manly aplomb.
A note on the ice cone. I was lucky enough to receive a Kitchen Ninja as a gift, which makes perfect snow ice. Simply hold a straw in the center of a flute glass, pack tightly around it with snow ice, creating a tunnel through the center, then gently dump the cone out, remove the straw and freeze for an hour. Serve with the large end in the drink and place a straw through the hole so you're drinking through the ice. If you want to skip all that you can just use a large cube, but it won’t be as cool.
After it all comes together, wow! Super well balanced, silky texture, with honey on the back end. The small amount of water definitely thins the drink out pleasantly letting the flavors of rums shine. Especially the Bacardi, which lends bright floral sweetness to perfectly accompany the molasses funk of the others. Fruit juices are present just so, doing their job behind the scenes and playing an integral role in making it all come together. It’s a perfect Tiki drink in the sense that everything present has to be there. No more, no less, no stress.
Strong drink has long been associated with seafaring misadventures. Those of us who turn and toil in the romantic but foolish endeavors of bygone whimsy know all too well how reaping the spoils of those rapacious rapscallions, as beguiling as it may be, can leave us either one knee up on the bow of our ship with a course set for greatness, or making gallows confessions of our own as we swing from a noose fashioned thread by debaucherous thread. The interesting part of humanity is that there’s romance in both.
My name is Tony, and this has been Pod Tiki.
Credits: …And a Bottle of Rum: Wayne Curtis, Beachbum Berry Remixed: Jeff Berry, Smuggler’s Cove: Martin Cate, Tiki - Modern Tropical Cocktails: Shannon Mustipher.
PODTIKI at surfsidesips.com
Once again thank you so much for listening and we’ll see you next time on Pod Tiki. Keepi Tiki.
